I think a lot, oftentimes too much.  About many things — the meaning of life, how to live with purpose, the past, present, future.  Writing is a useful outlet.  I used to write publicly, oftentimes under pseudonyms.  Nowadays I’m just “living” and keeping my writing to a minimum.   The cycle is a pattern for me:  1) Live and gain experiences/questions, then 2) Write profusely to sort through those experiences and gain insight/growth.  Then live again, write even more.  Ideally, there’s a balance between the two, where one is writing and living fully, simultaneously.  But for me, it’s always one before the other.

The break from posting was good.  Hi again.  I have no idea what I’m going to do with this site.

With all there is to say, there’s nothing to share here recently.

Thankful for a lot lately.   Could be a whole lot worse, and that is an understatement.

When it rains, it pours.

I actually slept soundly through last night.  No insomnia.  Woot!

Deep breaths.

I had a dream this morning.  Most of it was uncomfortable and kept me on my toes all throughout.  There were the classic doses of fear, anxiety, panic, and flight from danger.   But I was surprised by the end of it, which was lovely and pleasant.   I woke up feeling at peace.

The five stages of grief as described by the Kübler-Ross model: 
1)  Denial, 2) Anger, 3) Bargaining, 4) Depression, 5) Acceptance

Although experiencing any personal loss is a tragedy in and of itself, isn’t it a blessing to reach #5 after a long and windy road?  With loss comes gain, a strange formula that the heavens deem fit.  Counting my blessings…

“I now believe what my mother meant when she said ‘Everything is copy’ is this:  When you slip on a banana peel, people laugh at you; but when you tell people you slipped on a banana peel, it’s your laugh.  So you become the hero rather than the victim of the joke.”
-Nora Ephron, I Feel Bad About My Neck

This was a free book I picked up on the hotel bookcase while in Kauai last year.  While sitting poolside on the first morning, I read it cover to cover within a couple hours.  It was that funny and engaging.  I appreciated Ephron’s anecdotes, but the book’s takeaway message that I still remember is:  “Everything is copy.”   I think she is encouraging each of us to own the brilliant stories that piece our lives together, or maybe reminding us that the first banana slip is always the harshest, or maybe telling us to learn from the experiences of the past while taking on the wisdom inherent in others’ stories.  I do like all three interpretations.

“Ah, when to the heart of man
Was it ever less than a treason
To go with the drift of things,
To yield with grace to reason,
And bow and accept the end
Of a love or of a season?”

-Robert Frost

$400 isn’t a big deal in the big scheme of things, but it’s a HUGE deal when you feel ripped off and you think you could’ve done something differently to prevent being ripped off.  Grrr…

People can’t stop staring at car crashes on the side of the road.  They speculate:  How did it happen?  Is anyone hurt?  Whose fault could it have been?  But at some point, the cleanup process begins, and everyone moves on.  “Nothing here to see, people.  Move on and keep your eyes on the road ahead of you.”

There are those who try to shame me from doing the right thing.  That is confusing.

The most difficult lies to spot are often the ones that I decided to ignore my initial intuition in discerning.

Everything is going to be okay.

Never say never.

As much light as his shiny head reflected, the man was straight out of a dark place in the corners of hell.

“Insanity: Continue to do the same thing, and expect different results.”

The fine line between surrender, hatred, and apathy.